Tired, but Faithful

How do I stop myself from hating everything that society has created? When my brothers and sisters have to fight from birth just to get to a safe space? Most times I detest the human experience, because it comes with the feeling that I am not doing enough for myself or others. That weighs heavy on my soul, even when I pretend that it doesn’t.

Truth is, meditation has only gotten me so far. It hasn’t stopped the endless waves of hate for the oppressor, whoever or whatever that is; and it hasn’t stopped the sadness that comes from seeing what humans go through just to survive. It hasn’t stopped the nights of despair after seeing all the lost souls as a product of their environment, just for the cycle to continue.

When does it end? when does simply talking about the anger and sadness get old and tiring? For me, the light at the end of the tunnel will come when I create my own. I pray for true freedom, not just for myself, but for everyone that hasn’t even had a chance to dream of it.

I pray that we find waves of community and support under a collective love that shields us from harm and destruction. Masking the hurt hasn’t worked, because it still brews and grows everyday. Lying about happiness doesn’t work, when the design is meant to subconsciously trigger our deepest and most harmful memories at every corner.

I pray that we can use each other, to support and share eternal energy. That we can understand our differences and bask in the beauty of them. That we can communicate our deepest fears without judgments, simply to realize we are all damaged and broken. That is not to deter us from growing, or to keep us in that broken state, but to finally acknowledge it and break free from it.

I pray for salvation.